An emptiness shrouded my thoughts as I sat in the taxi, looking out of the window. My bag was conveniently placed on my lap, with my arms hugging round it tightly as i struggled to remain calm. Sighing, i tried to recollect the day's events. With each added ponder, my worries just grew heavier and heavier. With that, i decided to just block out everything and anything. Concentrating hard on the swift images of the world as it passed me outside the window, i grew weary and fatigue began to overcome me. Strangely, i tried closing my heavy eyelids to hopefully drift into slumber, but somehow it did not work. My head was fresh but my body, weak.

At times i have a knack for blocking out whatever i want to, and it came in handy. Shutting out my troubles, and being unable to sleep, my thoughts turned to the possible excitements of the following few days. How i could do anything i want, my whim and fancy at any time. That prospect thrilled me...... My hand unconsciously reached out for that little dependable gadget in my bag. Small, portable and highly satisfying, it has been my faithful companion for the past months, entertaining me in boring cab rides. My beloved NuVo.

To my mild horror, and somewhat amusement, i realised i forgot to bring my headphones along with it. Possibly brainless, if you ask me. As usual. So that settled it, i had to suffer with the cab driver's radio station, which was fortunately, not too objectionable.

I had boarded the taxi from town, just after a disappointing outing with some of my fellow female associates. Do not be mistaken, the problem did not lie with them, it lay with my weariness and worry-stricken head. Whatever the case, i wanted to head home and return to a well-deserved (at least in my opinion) nap. With of course, a brief exchange with another of my loyal subjects - my iBook. An overwhelming smile crept over my lips as i contemplated just what to do when i reached home. Too many things to do, too little time. How rare. How exciting.

Then came the sudden blow of what i had to face before that. How could i possibly forget that. That demanding tone. The very thing that dug deep into my conscience and heart. I pictured it - that very moment. It was a look of disappointment and sadness. That made me nothing but guilty, to myself and to my mother. Sighing quietly to myself, i imagined my mother at the computer, waiting for me to come home. Then came the anticipated question,

"So, how was your paper today?"

I would not and could not answer. It was too horrific to recall or to speak of. I would stare blankly at her, then look down in defeat. That moment of silence said a lot. She would very well know it. However, whether she would know my guilt, my pain, my sorrow and equal disappointment is something only she would know, and something that i would not find out.

"I'm sorry. "

Proceeding to my room, i would lay down my bag, with all its burdens within, and toy with my computer, or rest.

That is JUST what i did.

Sorry daddy mummy, i've let you down, i've let myself down.