i wonder sometimes. isnt it obvious. maybe it's not. maybe it doesnt matter even if it is obvious. yup, i think it doesnt even matter... gals i need yall so badly now. i really hate it... hate myself for even bothering to try to think about it. it's like history repeating itself. can't i just find sth simple? y do i always do this?

ok it's ok. ive got to think of better things to do. there is my com. n my movies. n my tokyo juliet! haha.

courage is sth very remote sometimes u know. haha, nic u just mentioned sth very interesting: attraction and truly liking someone are 2 different things not to be mixed up. is there really a need to differentiate? wat if there is both? or wat if it's more of 1 than the other? does it matter? isn't it good if there is both?

nic u're making sense.... it IS better to have both. but it is better to truly like somemore more than just attraction. or it may even be better if the relationship is based more on liking than attraction. studying is easier u know. it's just words....

which brings to mind another thing tt was mentioned earlier today (went out with isabel, weiting and shawn to shop...) inferiority complexes r so diff to get rid of sometimes. or rather insecurity complexes. haha. whichever. y do we experience it? do only gals experience it? issit how we look? how fat we r? how dumb we r? how small we r? (ok tts just me haha) hmmm.... haven really thought about insecurity for some time, now tt it comes to mind - it is rather scary. its just pangs of moments when u get it u know. n it stays n leaves a sour feeling, tt doesn go away until the next good thing comes along to erase it. its been panging me since yest.... haha, wat the stupid heck. gotta find a way to get rid of it. a drinking outing with the gals would. but NO 1 IS AVAILABLE! cant really do it with med pple either.....

how do u know other pple's view of u wo being blatant? ok, sometimes it doesnt even matter. yea, it doesn't. things have a way of not mattering to me after a while because numbness sets in, i get over the numbness n find something else to occupy myself with. yesssss, find something to occupy myself with.... haha.