Why do people create blogs? To let their innermost thoughts be known to the world? To express their frustrations in life through a medium most easily accessible by others? To educate others? There are various other countless reasons that spring to mind, but mine is most humbly and simply: to use the ‘blog’ as an occasional tool to vent emotions, should any such need arise. Of late, this need has come to arise more often than I desire, and when I mean of late, I do not refer to days or even weeks, but of the impending inevitable process of ageing. Do not be mistaken, I am not old, I am, simply put,coming into the realisation that I have entered the throngs of my second decade of life, which surprisingly, has disturbed me more than I could have imagined.
Laying drowsily down on the hall sofa, I contemplate the direction of my life. I do not regret anything I am doing right now, at this juncture in my life, however, I can’t help but feel a certain lacking. Perhaps it was the disturbing lecture I had today on suicides, especially of how people who are suicidal experience immense amount of pain - but from what I wonder? Is it an accumulation of all the regrets in their lives? Regrets with regards to their family, friends, relationships, studies?
Evidently, my pensive mood has manifested itself into this new blog design I came up with. Flourished with pastel colours, it gives me a brief serenity from where I derive relief. For me, relief from life is most often and probably unfortunately, obtained through girlfriends, whom I have realised, that I’ve come to rely on very heavily. It does not help that with the increase in my social circle, comes with it the decrease in close relationships. Acquaintances are but a way to deceive ourselves that we have many friends. Do we actually have that many? Perhaps. Perhaps not. Perhaps it may not matter so much in the future. When each of us start having a family (hopefully), our lives will start revolving around our loved ones. When that cross- road comes, will I handle it well?
