am i 20 or am i not 20? how long more do i have to endure being treated like a child? how can anything happen when im going to be in the same room the entire night with a bunch of 3 other girls? not to mention how frigging tired i was and not pei-ing her to jog for 1 morning? arrrggghhh! other pple are going overseas with their bfs/bf's family and i cant frigging stay over at a girl's house? oh man........ im having a headache from crying, i wanna go mass tomorrow but i can't...... i just wanna spend time with the girls. is that so demanding? i need it now more than ever, they're going to leave me... even inn's 21st bday party, ill be going alone. my bro is not here, they're not going to be here, i dunno how im going to survive this year. sigh. im going to drown myself. im not a terribly emotionally independent person and inn is not a terribly reliable friend when im in need either. i really hate being a girl sometimes. my head and eyes are throbbing, i bloody hate it..... it's not like im clubbing! geez man, i haven't even asked to go out this late in such a long time, honestly all i ever do now is stay at home and study, is it very difficult to let me go out and enjoy what little free time i have? sigh. i just wanna drink my milo and go to sleep. it's like 4.30am now, i dun think i can wake at 10 to stupidly return all the way to sembawang for mass.

i just want my milo. sigh.

ps: secret was a really nice and sweet movie. tho it was strangely not apt for the person who gave me the dvd, nonetheless, it was a really sweet romantic movie, esp to watch with the girls. sigh.