Why do i feel much more emotionless than I would have expected of myself? Perhaps, it's the slightly longer hours? Perhaps it's the fact that i'm too busy worrying about whether i'm technically competent. Perhaps....... I'm terribly worried about getting too emotionally involved? I think i should clerk patients alone more often.

Also, I think i miss not only non-med people, but i miss med people now too. I miss the gals (non-med and med), I miss my bro, I miss being carefree silly and just planning my days around nonsensical shopping, gymming, sentosa outings. I guess I have to make new friends that I can (or have to) depend on.

Perhaps the sharing session is not such a bad idea? Considering my mood nowadays, I think i may burst in a very unexpected way. It's happened before and it ain't a pretty sight. To tell you the truth, I've come to realise, bursting to people i dunno well has far less repercussions than bursting to people i know well. Hmm.... we'll just KIV it yah? Haha.... i may just end up being very lazy to go, or i'll call out someone to pei me tml night, who ah..... we'll just see our mood..... maybe it'll be better when other NUS pple finish their exams soon.

Then again, whatever i'm thinking or feeling now seems pretty inconsequential to what some of the patients are facing. It worries me that i can come across a cancer case and brush it aside because it does not concern whatever i'm supposed to be learning now. And i realise, i probably have more balls (so to speak) when i'm alone as opposed to being in a group, when finding patients to clerk.

Aiyah, all these realisations dun mean a zilch if i dun do something about them, but right now, i'm so tired, nothing else matters.......