Wheeeee.... ok i have pictures but chao lazy to put them up.

1st up i wanna say that it was so much fun with the girls. I haven't seen everyone in such a long time that i nearly forgot what it was like to spend time with yall. (And no, individually spending time with inn and jean is different). Ideally, we should have gone jean's house to chill but i had to get my dad's birthday presents cos the 1st 2 attempts shopping with jean was fruitless, haha, though that girl did get a lot of things. Of course overlooking the fact that i missed the tanning session with you guys (grrrr....), the rest of the day was fun, regardless of not having the car.

Which brings to mind my next point, which is my daddy's birthday, i'm going to celebrate it later at mint, with the new chef, for dinner. But seeing as it has already hit 1.46am, we wished him happy birthday all the same. I got him a short-sleeved shirt from british india + book on terraces, balconies and patios + book on living room decor in my enthusiastic attempt to encourage him into rebuilding the house (then i can have my own room and invite friends over! oh man, how lovely would that be?). I quote my sister who quoted him, "We will rebuild the house at the end of the year." From past experience, I have known him to procrastinate, (trust me, he promised the museum since i was in primary 6, it ONLY opened when i was in j2), but all the same, a little girl can hope right?

I must mention that (mostly, as affirmation to myself because my dad wun read this) i really love my family a lot and appreciate everything they have done for me, i am a very fortunate young girl. I may not say it out loud, but i am extremely thankful for everything i have. For having a happy family (not always, but sufficient), for having parents, especially my dad for putting up with my willfulness at times, my going out till late and heavy consumption of the petrol tank, skipping bonding family dinners at home just to have fun with friends outside. Yes, thank daddy, i love you always and thank you for not reprimanding me when i dunno my limits (haha, no pun intended).

Then there was tonight, which was a lot of fun. Truth be told, i always have fun when i go out with "kkk". Haha, we did something totally spontaneous after our merchant court dinner which was to drive to mount faber. I must admit, that thought occurred to me because the night i went for the southern ridges trail with my cg, i really thought that place was beautiful, especially at night. There was the long winding road to drive on, which was absolutely tempting. Though finding the way there was a nightmare (we went around in circles) but getting there, seeing the scenery, or what i could catch of it while driving plus having a drink down at the hilltop really reminded me of europe at that instant. The lit skyline, coupled with the rain ambience was simply breath-taking, in fact, if the other guys didn't kindly offer to shelter me with their umbrellas, i wouldn't mind walking in the rain, all the way to henderson waves in fact. I can't seem to capture succinctly in words, what i was feeling at that hilltop, but i think that feeling would have been overwhelming if i had someone i love beside me at that time. :) Jeanie, you're going love it.... u should seriously go there with him.

Anyways, talking to my bro about medicine now also got me a bit worried, for him and for myself. He's got a lot of shit going on and i'm just glad to be holidaying now though the mental pressure is mounting. But i know all of us can handle it. I dunno how, but we always take 1 hurdle at a time right. Be it having to handle medicine osce and then patho exams, i think we have the perseverance to get through it. I must take this chance to say that I have never regretted joining medicine, whether for the course or for the friends. :)

There is something wrong with me today, i just feel like typing out all these weird mixed feelings about my life in 1 post. I totally think it's the scenery at mount faber... it cracking me open. I cannot shake off some of the things inn mentioned to me the other day... like: do i really portray myself as someone who only knows how to have fun and not be serious? Perhaps even my closer friends may think that. I do remember john mentioning something about this at yao's house before, something about i'm hiding behind a facade of playing while escaping reality. I do wonder about that at times, and i wonder what i'm running away from and why do i put across that image? I like hanging out with friends, a lot. Some may say going out everyday with different groups of friends is excessive, or that i'm "playing" too much, but the simple fact behind it is that i'm afraid of being alone. I dun need someone to look after me all the time (which leed and bw tend to do sometimes) but i just need someone there. You know what i mean, i can't describe it. And i must add, that i have this huge problem opening up to people, not like the nicole-kind of problem opening up, it's the "i tell you stuff but actually i'm not telling you anything important though it may sound important and personal". I dunno when i've grown to be like that but i guess it gets worse as i grow older. Haha, i can't shake this off, i think it's a protective mechanism of mine. Hmmm.... perhaps i should have a good chat with the girls. Which is not going to come, cos jean has work starting soon and smart inn has decided to pick the time jean and i are free, to work.

I wish nic is here sometimes. I wish my bro is here too. But jean is back, that's comforting. Ok, i'm rambling now. Who says blogging is not therapeutic? Of course, driving near esplanade by the bay at night, on the way home is therapeutic too, but who has so much petrol to waste?

Now i have to start thinking what to do for my 21st? I dun think having all my friends under the same roof is my idea of a memorable time. Yes, damian's party was a good testament to that. But, i think my different cliques of friends represent different sides of me, because i act very differently with each of them, and having them all together at once is going to get me confused. So, i have no idea what to do. I thought it'd be perfect timing seeing as my birthday would be directly after patho exam, everyone in med would be in a party mood, but i still dunno what to do. Ahhhh, whatever, it's inconsequential, as long as i have my close friends with me, i'm happy. See? Who says i'm a difficult girl to satisfy? Haha.

Peishan is flying back this thurs and yus is flying off on friday, i guess it's fated. Bad luck that the girls can't even completely meet during the hols. And bad luck i can't go for bintan or phuket. I reeeeeeeeally wanna go for the phuket trip, it's going to be water sports and everyone going there is very funny! But it's on 18 july... :( Sigh, looks like the girls' melbourne trip is a no go too, sorry girls, please don't be too disappointed. I quote wincent,"med students aint supposed to hav hols, cmon everyone knows tt," doesn't that just sum everything up? I really long for the day, we can just fly off together in a SIA plane to nic's apartment and chill indoors talking, getting up early to visit the sites and her school campus. Omg, just typing about it makes me immensely sad that it can't happen. To me, that would have been the best birthday present of all.

Ah well, i'll just make the most out of the holidays i have now. :)